So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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