Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
