They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
NoShamevember. You game?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
