i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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