I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
