Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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