Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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