After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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