Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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