we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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