Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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