how do flat chested girls get laid?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
