thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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