Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize