Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
