I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
