Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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