their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
