Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize