Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
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if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
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This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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