I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
