He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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