I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My balls are so social today.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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