I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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