I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
