I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize