i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
