I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
