sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
