If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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