as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
