it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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