How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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