I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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