Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
