We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
