the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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