sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize