you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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