My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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