i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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