He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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