Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
