You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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