She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT