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• (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

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• (516): View more from New York

  He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.

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• (760): View more from California

  Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.

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• (716): View more from New York

  For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.

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• (619): View more from California

  But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (949): View more from California

  Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut

  (714): View more from California

  I think mark twain said that originally

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• (916): View more from California

  So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito

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• (817): View more from Texas

  And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet

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