Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
