Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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