Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize