It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
