Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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