i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So much rum. So many feels.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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