You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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