Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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