I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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