we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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