Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
These tits shall not be calmed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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