Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize