Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
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I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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