I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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