3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
im calling her cock vulture from now on
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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