if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
