Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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