Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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